My practice resolution this month taught me what everyone who has ever made a resolution already knows: resolutions are difficult to keep.

There are two things I’ve learned about why resolutions are so difficult to keep. The first is that resolutions require upkeep. Day-by-godforesaken-day intentionality. We tend to imagine the payoff of our goal and often fail to execute its mundane to-do list. It’s easy to lose site of big, sexy goals in the crush of decidedly unsexy daily chores.

The second is that perfectionism is a fearsome foe. At the end of my month of practicing resolution, I take exception with the second part of Franklin’s definition:

“Resolve to perform what you ought. PERFORM WITHOUT FAIL WHAT YOU RESOLVE.”

Oh, all I need to do is never slip up? Thanks, Franklin, why didn’t I think of that?!

Perform without fail what you resolve is problematic because it sets up a false dichotomy between success and failure. I don’t think failure is really the problem with keeping resolutions; I think the problem is in trying again. As Stephen King tells us:

Franklin’s definition makes it far too easy to quit and resolution is far too long a road for that kind of dichotomous thinking. Resolution demands grit and it sacrifices old patterns of being that may be alluring and comfortable, but no longer serve us.

As I move forward with my own resolutions, I want to amend Franklin’s approach in a way that I feel is more beneficial to individuals and the community. Perform what you resolve with grit seems a wiser approach to me. Be patient and keep trying to perform what you ought. And when in doubt, listen to Neil Gaiman’s wish for you:

Be kind to yourself and others. Forgive yourself and others. Love yourself and others. And for goodness sake, keep trying. Especially when you’re not perfect at it. There’s no end of the good each of us could do if we resolve with that kind of grit.

Notes:

Image by Catherine Stovall from Pixabay

1. Twain, Mark. “New Year's Day.” Territorial Enterprise, 1 Jan. 1863.

2. King, Stephen. The Dark Tower VII: The Dark Tower. Scribner, 2004. p. 447

3. Gaiman, Neil. “Another Year.” Neil Gaiman's Journal, 31 Dec. 2016, 7:25 PM, journal.neilgaiman.com/2016/12/another-year.html.